I was interviewed by Andrea from Flying Free Ministries and I would like to share a few highlights.
Here is a rough summary/transcript:
Andrea: You home schooled your sons right?
Mandi: Yes. We encouraged our sons to be entrepreneurs and with regards to computer games and media, we used this phrase often: "Be the producers, not the consumers." Why not create the game instead of always playing it?
Two of our sons have their own online businesses and our oldest son just resigned from his job to pursue his online business full time. The youngest has a website business and paying towards his college.
Andrea: I love how you encouraged them to be creative.
What comes to mind when you think of freedom when relating to others?
Mandi: We get more freedom when we let go of our agenda`s in a self-less way. Relationships are all about conversations and having a self--less conversation. When we let go of our agenda (giving advise, fixing the problem) we spend more time really listening to the other person and learning how to listen more, we are more available and free to understand, love and accept. People just need us to listen and empathize. Freedom is about being available to people and "less about me" and "more about others."
Andrea: Do you have a place where you can go where someone listens to you and where is that for you?
Mandi: That`s a good question. I have a group of coaches where we meet each week, pray together, encourage one another and talk about challenges we are having. It`s important to have an environment of supportive people. It`s part of self-care having a group of people to support us.
Andrea: Have you had to develop a skill set when relating to teens?
Mandi: It`s a skill set as you go through different areas of life but you also learn through reading, training and educational programs. Before I had kids, I couldn't think of how to relate to young kids but as I had my own kids, I learnt skill sets through experience, reading parenting books and talking to other parents.Then I learnt how to relate to teens as I went through the journey with my own kids. When I completed my professional coach training, I look back and I would have done some things very differently. I certainly could of used my new coach skills back then. So, it`s a combination as you learn through life experience and training. It`s continuous learning. I`m always reading books. The library is my best friend!
Andrea: When you are working with teens, are there some tried and tested things that work or is it more individual?
Mandi: There are basic coach principles that work in any situation and there are also things that work for different personalities as children and families are unique.
Andrea: My kids get frustrated when they have to work at communication and they get impatient. How do we teach our kids to communicate? What do you find in your line of work?
Mandi: If we want to teach our teens how to communicate, we need to be role models. So when we loose it, yell at them or mess up, we are not perfect. Letting them see that we are human. Asking for forgiveness. Giving grace. The Lord forgives us. Not dealing with a reaction in the moment is not the right time. Timing is important. We could ask them: What could have been a better response? How could you respond differently? But choose the timing - not in the moment.
Andrea: You are a parent and a coach. Do you see those roles similar or different or is there a blend?
Mandi: If parents could be coaches, this would help them connect with their kids more. We want to empower our teens to be more self-directed and be less of a manager and more of a mentor/coach. We want our teens to take control of what they need to do. Our role changes as our kids get older and we need to take a step back and empower them to be more self-directed. "Instead of telling them what to do, help them to tell themselves what to do." They need to see that they are capable and they can find their own solutions. If parents keep being the capable experts (managers) and supermom to the rescue, how will our kids learn to be independent? When we let go of control, we become more of an influential parent.
Andrea: We have teens at home and we are in the shift. It`s a switch in their minds too and knowing when we will help them and when they need to figure it out for themselves. We need to help them see they do have good reasoning skills and the shift invites relationship. What inspired you to be a coach?
Mandi: My sons. I was also involved in teaching in a co-op group with apologetics, business and entrepreneur skills and I guess I grew into this role. I wanted to help other families on this journey and support them through the challenges in the adolescent years.
Watch from 17:30 minutes about coaching
Final words:
Spend more time connecting and less time correcting.
Before correcting, wait, pause. Can this wait?
It may require empathy before correcting.
Enjoy quality moments. PAUSE. Don`t have to always say it! Breath and wait. Get into a calm state and then move on ......
Resources to support parents with coaching tools and strategies in preparing adolescents for life and career success.
If you interested in learning more about how to be a parent coach, and experience transformation in yourself, and your relationships with your teenagers, join a supportive group coaching community. How would it feel if you could take a break from being supermom to the rescue and your teenagers could advocate for themselves?
Academic coaching addresses executive function skills: time management, organization, planning, focus, prioritization, asking for help, reflection and other aspects like motivation, procrastination, stress, anxiety, mindsets. Increased self-awareness leads to more intentional choices and actions, confidence, ownership, and motivation for students to self-manage their lives beyond academics.
My signature coaching GO PROGRAM curriculum is for students 13-18 years. It improves self awareness and helps students with motivation, confidence, organization, procrastination, time management, relationships, communication, stress, anxiety, mindsets, emotional regulation and more.
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