Long Term Change?
Updated: Feb 28, 2019
How often do you make a new years resolution or decide to turn over a new leaf but no real lasting results seem to occur? Perhaps you need to go a little deeper with your thinking? Writing down some concrete actions with support on how to follow through will help you stay on track.
"Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone." Robert Allen
In order to experience lasting change, here are some concepts that will help you think about who you are, how you are influenced, where you want to go, and how to get there.
From the dictionary, "align yourself with" means to support, agree with, or form an alliance with a particular person or idea. When you are not in alignment, you are not living out your life according to your beliefs and values. This center alignment will impact your life and have a marked difference in how you respond to situations. Once you see that your alignment is "off," you need to readjust and get back on track.
For a Christian, the ultimate in adjustment is “not my will but Your will be done.” We can be self-centered and self-seeking and we need to get back into alignment with who we are serving. We tend to be double minded and unstable and therefore we need to be constantly reminded of our purpose, beliefs and values.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. Socrates
In order to get back to your center alignment and adjust your life accordingly, you need to become more aware of who you are being, how you view the world (your lens or perspective), what makes you act the way you do and what changes you need to make.
Understanding who you are, who you are serving (yourself, others, God) and having a healthy sense of who you are is the first step in this process of change. Slow down and take some time for self-reflection. We need to become more aware of our cognitive emotional behaviors or habits and our personal reactivity (anger, negative reactions) so that we begin to make more intentional choices. As you begin to grow in self-awareness, your choices and actions will line up with your values and lead you moving in the right direction.
With new awareness comes adjustment. They go hand in hand. Adjustment leads to a change of heart and mind, resulting in changed behavior and a change in direction.
Accept the awareness that you discover about yourself. Consider the things you don`t like and then admit that you need to change. Examining yourself honestly means that you judge yourself without justifying or defending certain behaviors or actions. This requires authenticity as you think from a healthy view of who you are. It is not about self-condemnation.
Being very critical of yourself or arrogant and proud are two extreme views that hinder an honest conversation. Ask someone you are close to about how they see your actions. How do you respond in a stressful situation? If you tend to react in more negative ways, what is causing that personal reactivity? To what effect do your beliefs about the world or people and your perspectives on life affect how you relate to yourself and others? Give yourself some grace a