What`s your "brain chatter" telling you, about you? What limiting beliefs are playing repetitively in your head? How do these negative thoughts affect your actions? What impact do your actions have on yourself and others around you?
Let`s first learn some neuroscience to understand what`s really going on behind the scenes - in our brain and mind.
"We can rewire our brains."Dr. Caroline Leaf
Dr Caroline Leaf, a neuro-scientist, explains that we can use our conscious mind to rewire the brain and change our thoughts. We can self-regulate our thoughts, our emotions and the choices we make. Even when culture and environment have formed our beliefs and assumptions we make about ourselves, we can still change our thinking. Dr. Caroline Leaf goes on to explain that self-regulation (our ability in our minds to look at our thoughts) is comprised of emotions and information. When we choose to change, we are changing the energy (chemical, electro-magnetic, quantum energy) around that physical structure because the mind work dominates 90-99% of what the physical structure does. The brain responds to the mind; it doesn’t control the mind. You can only change thoughts and feelings through choice. Therefore thoughts are so important to change the physical minds. When we choose what to do, we are changing the energy around that physical structure.
"Changing mindsets can change the physical brain."
Changing mindsets result in changing choices which will affect our actions. Negative attitudes and thinking produces negative results. Positive attitudes and thinking produces positive results.
Here is an example of how our limiting beliefs affect our actions. These are questions I ask my students that help with limiting beliefs. You can also try this exercise.
Scenario: Asking a parent of teens who needs to change negative thinking:
What negative things do you hear yourself saying about yourself?
I am a failure; I am a bad mum; I don`t have the patience
What is your perspective?
I feel like I have let my family down and I am not good enough
How does this make you feel?
Disappointed, incapable, sad, unsupported
What actions do you take in this perspective?
I don`t discipline my teens and I let them take control
What results do these actions bring in your life?
They are disrespectful; they don`t communicate with me; I am always yelling at them
What connection can you see between your results and your negative assumptions?
Can you see how negative assumptions and beliefs affect your actions?
If you are willing to believe the limiting beliefs and negative assumptions without proof, then why not flip this negative scenario and change it to the positive?
Here goes:
What things do you hear yourself saying about yourself?
I am successful and I am a great mum; I can be patient
What is your perspective?
I know my family loves me and appreciates me and I do my best as a parent
How does this make you feel?
Confident, successful, encouraged, connected
What actions do you take in this perspective?
I discipline my teens, set boundaries and act like their parent, not their friend
What results do these actions bring in your life?
They respect me and communicate with me; we have a great relationship
This is a very powerful tool that I use with my students because it clearly emphasizes how our thoughts affect our actions and by choosing to change our thinking, will have a profound affect on our lives as positive actions line up with positive thought patterns. Once my students complete this activity, their whole demeanor changes from gloom to bloom! They become excited and motivated to try their new thinking patterns. It`s so exciting to watch their eyes light up and their body language reflect this new found technique.
"Not only do each of us experience the feeling of imminent failure, but we often escalate it with our words and actions.” Seth Godin.
You can be more empowered and learn how to utilize your brain and mind to serve you better!
Contact me if your teens or young adults need support in their next steps and I will help them to navigate through setbacks, plan action steps and help them get to where they want to go.