How do I get my teen to listen to me and get the results I want?
Updated: Dec 15, 2020
As a life coach to families with teens, I hear this common complaint from parents: - “my teens don`t listen to me, and as a result I always have to nag them.” Likewise, I hear these complaints from my students: - “my parents don’t listen to me, they don’t understand me, and they are always nagging me.”
Parents and teens are co-creating this relationship and neither parties are hearing or listening well. The consequence to family relationships create nagging-frustrated-parents and unmotivated-apathetic teens.
As parents, we need to assess and end this negative recurring pattern.
Join me and explore crucial questions that demonstrate how we as parents can communicate differently so teens listen and respond with more relationship and respect.
Consider these questions:
What is your vision for your teen?
Where do you want your teen to be in 5- or 10-years’ time?
What character qualities do you want to see?
How are you preparing your teen for adulthood?
What IS your role as the parent? Is it to fix their problems, find their solutions, rescue them from failure, make sure they are happy, healthy, and comfortable, or be the expert in their lives?
Perhaps we need to rethink our role as the parent?
What if we were not meant to be the immediate-and-ever-present expert on our teens nor were we meant to solve all their problems or make sure they are comfortable and happy?
In fact, we do not have to be the expert to prove we are good parents. Let this mindset go. Breathe and give yourself grace. They NEED to see themselves as capable experts, and so doing, realize their God given gifts and capabilities.
We do not need to play “super-parent-to-the-rescue” anymore. Intentionally and gradually letting go of being the expert, we will inspire our teens to be more receptive, relational, and responsible.
How are your expert-parent-superpowers inadvertently holding your teen back?
Let`s explore this crucial concept: by doing less, we gain more.
Break the pattern and re-calibrate relationships
1. Shift your parenting.
We need to make a transition from “telling our teens what to do” (we are the expert) to helping them “tell themselves what to do” (they are the experts). Shifting our role helps our teens become more competent and confident in t